God's Love in Your Marrow

This Christmas season the message of love has been in nearly every sermon or candlelight service. God’s love. Maybe there is nothing new about that. You could say that every Christmas is about God’s love. In fact, it starts with the verse we have heard since we were children—For God so loved the world…(John 3:16). We know God loves “us” and sent his son to save the world. The part that I am focusing on this year is that God loves me. He knows me and his love is intimate. That is the love that I am thinking about this year. It is personal. Ephesians 3:17-19

... And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

This love is deep and intimate enough to reach me. It’s not just about God loving the world or us. It is really about God’s love in sending Jesus Christ to actually reach me. And to have me know how amazing it is. To experience it in my innermost self.

That last part made me think of my own experience with bone marrow and how it gives life or can take life away. Marrow is such an interesting word. We don’t often use that word unless we are talking about something medical. But the word marrow means this: The inmost, choicest, or essential part. Or in some dictionaries, the vital part, essence.

Marrow is the part that gives life. It is the core of who we are. So here is the revelation I had this week. Are we experiencing the love of Jesus in our marrow? Not just recognizing that “God so loved the world,” but seeing the truth that this love is personal. It is meant for us to experience in our inner core—the part that defines who we are. When we really experience the intimate love of Jesus in our core, it changes everything. It puts everything in perspective. We all have this need to experience a deep and personal love from our Savior. And there is no greater time to see this than on Christmas day. Look around. Experience the joy of giving to others we love and receive the gifts from others that love us. But most of all, experience the intimate and personal love of our Savior deep in your marrow. Pray that God would overwhelm you with this love. That is what gives life this Christmas season.

Amazed by His Love,

Terence

Trusting your Faith

I opened my Bible this morning to 1 Peter and there on the top of the page were some words I wrote years ago. It was these words: “Faith that has not been tested, cannot be trusted.” I don’t even remember the context for when I wrote those words down. But it must have made enough of an impact on me to write them above chapter 1 of 1 Peter. The context for these words is associated with verses 6 and 7:

In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. (1 Peter 1:6-7)

The timing of turning to this part of my Bible and seeing that statement I wrote down was so perfect. I had been thinking about the suffering that is in our world and how it relates to our faith. It can be so easy to be discouraged in our own suffering or by watching the suffering of others. It can often rock the core of your faith and what you believe in. But that is what these verses are saying to us—there is no greater way to prove the genuineness of our faith than to experience suffering and trials. Until then, can we really know and trust our faith?

So, what do we do? Do we pray for the testing of our faith? And by praying that, do we get ready for suffering and trials to come our way? Jesus told us to be prepared for trouble in this world and to not base our faith on whether things are good in our life. He said in John 16:33, I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world. Suffering and trials are going to be in our lives, but our faith is in knowing that he has overcome the world. We know that he reigns in all of what is going on around us. And the amazing thing is that Christ does not call us to this standard of faith and suffering without setting an example for us. 1 Peter 2:21 says, to this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in his steps.

We don’t have to pray for suffering and trials to come our way. They are going to be there because it is the world we live in. But the best way to know if our faith can be trusted is to press through these times of testing and actually see that God has not left us alone. Saint Augustine said one of the most profound things on faith: Faith is to believe what you do not see; the reward of this faith is to see what you believe. Watch what happens the next time you are tested and look for the reward of your faith. Then you will know that your faith can be trusted.

Amazed by His Love,

Terence

Stay With It

Something incredible happened last week and right away it made me think of God’s faithfulness. One morning I woke up and was playing with my wedding band. It surprised me that it came off so easily. You see, since transplant I have had some form of swelling in my arms, legs, and fingers. I even had my ring sized up two different times. It is just a form of the graft vs. host disease (GVHD) that is often common from bone marrow transplant. My doctor always told me that it would eventually burn its way out. It could take months or years. “Just stick with it, he would say.” In my case it has been over two years. But when I saw my ring slip off so easily, I also noticed that all of my other swelling was literally gone. I could bend my legs to a fuller range, my fingers were not puffy, and my watch fit like it used to. Just like that, the effects of GVHD were gone. It was a long wait. I couldn’t will it to happen. I had to be patient. But I did trust my doctor’s word that it would eventually go away and I focused on that.

I wondered if the bible had anything to say about “staying with it” and the transformation we can count on if we are disciplined followers of Jesus Christ. James 1:12 was the first verse I came to. I love how The Good News version puts it.

Happy are those who remain faithful under trials, because when they succeed in passing such a test, they will receive as their reward the life which God has promised to those who love him.

It is important to remain faithful, even when we may not be seeing the dramatic results we want, and the timing that we want. Two years was a long time. But there was nothing I could do to accelerate the process. I just had to stay with it. I was confident that the change, the transformation, would eventually happen. Philippians 1:6 reminds us of that.

Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. (NIV)

Jesus wants to complete through us and in us what he started. So, don’t be discouraged if you have endured something for years. Keep your focus on what Jesus has said he will do. And stay with it.

Amazed by His Love,

Terence

What Should You Keep

This is the second year in a row we have had fires in Colorado Springs. Over 350 homes were lost last year and nearly 500 homes were lost this year. The fires last year were on the west side of the city, far from where we live. But this year, the fires were in Black Forest near our neighborhood. They were close enough that our neighborhood was evacuated out of safety in case the fire continued to move in our direction. You never know how much warning you might have when a natural disaster is imminent. Some people have no warning. Others might have minutes or hours. The question is what to try and save when you don’t know if your house will be there when you come back. I think all of us have heard to make sure you take photos, important papers, and any possessions that are not replaceable. In today’s electronic environment, it is often our computers that hold photos and important papers. So it is not unusual to see people taking laptops, desktops, and hard drives as they evacuate their home. In this fire, we heard of people who only had seconds to evacuate and left with only the clothes they were wearing. And many of these people lost everything. It made me think of what is really important. And it was also interesting to see what was important from an adult’s perspective and a child’s perspective. Our little Zachary packed up the things that fill his life every day: Legos, some dress up costumes (one was a fireman’s costume), and a few books. All of those are obviously replaceable, but those are the things he decided he wanted to make sure were with him. During this week of the Black Forest fire, it made me think of what could I live without. Many people have no choice. They lost everything and will have to rebuild from scratch. I think the two most important things begin with F’s: Family and Faith. We all want our family to be with us on the other side of a natural disaster. And we can be content knowing that the one true God is always there, even if we have lost everything. I think of the Apostle Paul in Philippians 4:11 when he shares what it means to be content. The Message version says it well:

I’ve learned by now to be quite content whatever my circumstances. I’m just as happy with little as with much, with much as with little. I’ve found the recipe for being happy whether full or hungry, hands full or hands empty. Whatever I have, wherever I am, I can make it through anything in the One who makes me who I am.

I love that last line: I can make it through anything in the One who makes me who I am. We can lose all of our possessions but still be quite full in Jesus Christ who really saves us. That is what we should keep.

Amazed by His Love,

Terence

Be Thankful

Today is my two year birthday from transplant. It’s not my real birthday, but it is a day that I am constantly reminded of by doctors and nurses. And the two year baby shots that I have to receive is another big reminder, in one way, that I am only two years old. However old I am, one thing I do know for sure is I am very thankful for the two years I have had. My blood counts are normal and the highest levels since before leukemia. Without transplant, I would not have had these additional years. More time to spend with my beautiful bride, walk Jennifer down the aisle, see Brian graduate from the Air Force Academy, and more years to play with Zachary. I thank God for the healing I received through transplant. While thinking about this, I was reading in Luke 17 about Jesus healing ten men with leprosy. All ten men were healed and experienced an incredible transformation from leprosy to clean skin. But it is verses 15 and 16 that grabbed my attention: One of them, when he saw he was healed, came back, praising God in a loud voice. He threw himself at Jesus’ feet and thanked him—and he was a Samaritan. Jesus goes on in verses 17-19: Jesus asked, “Were not all ten cleansed? Where are the other nine? Has no one returned to give praise to God except this foreigner?”  Then he said to him, “Rise and go; your faith has made you well.” This story has always amazed me, and even more now that I experienced my own healing. I always wondered what happened to the other nine. Did they just carry on with life not spending another moment thinking about what happened to them? Did they tell anyone else what had happened to them and give the glory to God? I would not want to be those nine guys who stood in front of Jesus at the gates of Heaven. I can maybe imagine what that conversation was like. I want to be like the one who returned. The one who fell at Jesus’ feet and gave thanks. He was the one who was really restored. The one who fully experienced all that Jesus had to offer. In addition to healing, this man experienced salvation. Jesus says “your faith has made you well.” In other translations it really means “your faith has saved you.” This man experienced healing and salvation. How much better can it get? I never want to take for granted what Jesus has done for me. I want to be the one …the one who is thankful.

Amazed by His Love,

Terence

Pursuing

I have been thinking about the concept of pursuing.  Women love to be pursed, to feel like they are worthy of being pursed.  A young man will often think about creative ways to pursue nonstop while courting, but often times after he has made his conquest that will stop and he will go onto the next goal.  I was thinking about our relationship with God and how similar it can be.  I remember how mundane my time with God had gotten; it was so much more alluring reading fun books, spending time on the computer, or watching entertaining programs than to spend time getting to know Him (not that any of these things are bad sometimes). Then when my husband, Terence, relapsed with Leukemia in February 2011, I decided I was going to lean into God and not give up.  It was a commitment I did not take lightly.  I decided to give up some of those “time wasters” for God.  I realized that I had to go after God even though it wasn’t easy.  See I always thought if God wanted me to get to know Him better He would make it easy and convenient.  I would wake up at 5 am and jump out of bed wide awake ready to spend time with him.  I assumed God would just start talking to me in a loud voice, so that I would always know the right decisions to make and that I would only say the right things all of the time.  I came to realize that God wants us to know Him as much as He wants to know us.  He gave His only Son to die for us (John 3:16).  I am realizing He must love me more than I can ever imagine to have given His Son to die for me; a person that just doesn’t get it and keeps making mistakes.  I have to keep reading God’s word, the Bible, even when I don’t think I am getting anything out of it. I have found that sometimes I need to read the Bible aloud or read the same verses over and over.  It is my way of training myself to not give up on wanting to learn from God’s word, just like an athlete doesn’t quit training even when it is hard.  I am still so far from where I want to be with God, but it seems like when I am not pursuing Him I am headed further away from him, just like in any relationship we have. I want God to know that He is important to me even though I still have a tough time knowing how to take the wonderful times I have with God and put them into my everyday life. I am not going to give up again; I am making a commitment to never quit pursuing.

Debbie

Can You Really be Transformed

For some reason I have been thinking a lot about this one question as a believer in Jesus Christ. That question is “can you really be transformed?” Isn’t that a silly question? Of course the answer is a resounding YES. But if we are really honest, it is easy to have some doubt around real transformation. We can even hear ourselves saying things like: “This part of my life can be transformed, but I am not so sure about that part.”  Or, “I’ve tried a dozen times to work this part out of my life but it just never sticks.” We can even get to the point of “learned helplessness” where we start thinking it is not even worth trying…we have been down this road before and it is the same outcome over and over again. Failure. Why try? We believe in what Jesus did on the cross and we also believe he is coming back again. We know that he has saved us from our sins and he has enormous grace for us as we continue to stumble. But we just can’t get fully to the point of real transformation in some parts of our life. So even though the obvious answer to “can you really be transformed?” is yes, the life reality is that we have some doubt. Not always and not everyone, but this happens more than we would like to think as believers. There is something here that bothers me about this issue of real transformation. A few scriptures will set this up.

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will (Romans 12:2, NIV).

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here! (2 Corinthians 5:17, NIV).

These scriptures talk about real transformation. It is supposed to be real, nothing holding it back. After struggling with this for several weeks, God seemed to whisper an answer to me that took me back to my own bone marrow transplant. I started looking at the biology of what happens in bone marrow transplant. Essentially the recipient’s bone marrow is wiped out and the donor’s bone marrow (in most cases stem cells) becomes the new system. There is even a DNA change. In my case, I had a female donor (my sister). Normally, a detailed blood test for a male will come back 46 XY. That means 23 pairs of chromosomes with the gender chromosome as an XY (male). What is my DNA chromosome structure now in my blood? It is now 46 XX. 23 pairs of chromosomes with the gender chromosome now an XX (female). It’s just in the blood, so everything is ok (smile).  I really have been transformed physically, right down to the DNA chromosome structure. Everything is new. There is not one part of my blood that has not been transformed. What an amazing miracle that happens in the physical core of how our bodies are made. And here is the complete whisper God gave me on this thought. “Don’t you think if I can design your body in such a way and give medical science the ability to do this miraculous transformation of the physical blood that I can figure out a way to do the same transformation in the spiritual realm?” Wow, what a thought. I certainly have no doubt about the physical transformation that happened to me in April 2011. Given that we serve the creator of the universe and all that happened through Jesus, why do we have any doubt that real spiritual transformation can occur? Well, we shouldn’t have any doubt. We just need to receive it, believe that it is done, and live a life that is holy and pleasing to God (Romans 12:1). Real transformation is REALLY possible.

Amazed by His Love,

Terence