Pursuing

I have been thinking about the concept of pursuing.  Women love to be pursed, to feel like they are worthy of being pursed.  A young man will often think about creative ways to pursue nonstop while courting, but often times after he has made his conquest that will stop and he will go onto the next goal.  I was thinking about our relationship with God and how similar it can be.  I remember how mundane my time with God had gotten; it was so much more alluring reading fun books, spending time on the computer, or watching entertaining programs than to spend time getting to know Him (not that any of these things are bad sometimes). Then when my husband, Terence, relapsed with Leukemia in February 2011, I decided I was going to lean into God and not give up.  It was a commitment I did not take lightly.  I decided to give up some of those “time wasters” for God.  I realized that I had to go after God even though it wasn’t easy.  See I always thought if God wanted me to get to know Him better He would make it easy and convenient.  I would wake up at 5 am and jump out of bed wide awake ready to spend time with him.  I assumed God would just start talking to me in a loud voice, so that I would always know the right decisions to make and that I would only say the right things all of the time.  I came to realize that God wants us to know Him as much as He wants to know us.  He gave His only Son to die for us (John 3:16).  I am realizing He must love me more than I can ever imagine to have given His Son to die for me; a person that just doesn’t get it and keeps making mistakes.  I have to keep reading God’s word, the Bible, even when I don’t think I am getting anything out of it. I have found that sometimes I need to read the Bible aloud or read the same verses over and over.  It is my way of training myself to not give up on wanting to learn from God’s word, just like an athlete doesn’t quit training even when it is hard.  I am still so far from where I want to be with God, but it seems like when I am not pursuing Him I am headed further away from him, just like in any relationship we have. I want God to know that He is important to me even though I still have a tough time knowing how to take the wonderful times I have with God and put them into my everyday life. I am not going to give up again; I am making a commitment to never quit pursuing.

Debbie