What Do You Do With Zero Chance?

What do you do with zero chance? What do you do with impossible odds, when everything is against you winning, when it is just easier to accept your reality? That’s where I was four years ago today. An unknown brain tumor, a 9-hour surgery to remove it, and weeks in the hospital to recover. Doctors believed the original scan showed a meningioma—a tumor that forms on membranes that cover the brain just inside the skull. And most meningiomas are benign (not cancerous). A few days after surgery, while recovering in ICU, my neurosurgeon walked in. That was not unusual to see him. What was unusual were the doctors who were with him—my Leukemia doctor and a few other specialists I didn’t recognize. I knew something wasn’t right for my Leukemia doctor to be there. My neurosurgeon began, “Mr. Andre, we got the results back from the biopsy of the tumor. In the tumor we found Leukemia cells—the same Leukemia type that you have had previously. We will be transferring you to the blood cancer unit—the same unit you were in for stem cell transplant in 2011.” At that moment, my world dropped. How could Leukemia come back after having a stem cell transplant in 2011? My Leukemia doctor would later explain that he theorized a few cells hid away during transplant and radiation in 2011, crossed the blood-brain barrier into my spinal fluid, and created the tumor that likely took years to develop between 2011 and 2015.

Once I was transferred to the blood cancer unit, my Leukemia doctor returned with a few other specialists—a neuro oncologist and radiation specialist. My Leukemia doctor went on to explain to me the seriousness of this tumor. Leukemia is a blood cancer. When it returns in the form of a solid tumor it is bad news. And when it returns as a solid tumor, in the brain, that is catastrophic news. Only 5-6 cases are reported in the world each year, and none of them turn out well, he explained. There is no standard protocol for it. I remember the next conversation he had with me. He said, “We have researched possible treatments for this and found a journal article out of China that provides an approach we may follow. It is a ‘shoot the moon’ approach and we don’t know if it will work for you. It will involve 12 treatments of radiation to your brain and chemo inserted into your spinal fluid. The odds are against you surviving long term as these types of tumors typically re-occur very quickly and there is nothing we can do if that happens.” He never said these words, but I could tell that he was giving me “zero chance” to survive. It could not get any darker than it was at that moment for me, and for my family.

What do you do with that? What do you do with anything where the odds are against you, where the chance of success is so small you wonder if it is even worth trying? The reality is you have two options: (1) Give up and accept defeat, or (2) Believe God can come through, despite the odds against you. Where would we be if these people would have given up because of the odds against them: Albert Einstein (didn’t speak for first three years of his life), Benjamin Franklin (parents could only afford to keep him in school until his tenth birthday), Stephen King (his first novel was rejected 30 times), and Thomas Edison (failed at least 1,000 times before creating the light bulb).

I love how Jesus handles “zero chance” situations:

Jesus looked hard at them and said, “No chance at all if you think you can pull it off yourself. Every chance in the world if you trust God to do it.” (Matthew 19:26, Message version)

What are you up against? Does it look impossible? Are you willing to trust God and to keep moving forward, despite the odds against you? That’s how you give yourself the chance to experience great victories.

Amazed by His Love,

Terence