The Contrast Will Reward Your Hope (or the joy of Chili’s Chips & Salsa)

As we continue into the third week of orders to “stay home” and many more weeks of lockdown to come, it made me wonder…when was the last time I felt like this? Felt that I was locked down from enjoying even a simple meal at a favorite restaurant. Locked down from going almost anywhere. Locked down from being around anyone who was sick. And my mind flashed back to March 30, 2010 (exactly 10 years ago today). A week earlier (March 23), I was released from the hospital after a month-long stay. During that hospital stay, everything was taken away from me. I couldn’t leave that room. My food had to be specifically ordered from a limited menu and prepared, brought in with plastic wrap over the tray. Fruit (like oranges and apples) had to be carefully washed so there was no chance the skin of the fruit would introduce a disease. Visitors had to wear masks when they came in. Why? Because to wipe out Leukemia with a very intense chemo treatment, that chemo treatment also wiped out my red blood cells, platelets, AND white blood cells. Our white blood cells carry our immunities, and I had nothing—no immune system for about seven days after the last chemo treatment. The white blood cells are the last to recover when they have been wiped out, and it typically took seven days each time after chemo treatment.

It was during this time in the hospital, when everything was taken away, that I really began craving the things I couldn’t have. At the top of the list was Chili’s Chips & Salsa. I love that stuff. I don’t know what they put in their salsa, but it is addictive, at least for me. But at that time, I couldn’t have it—it was made with fresh ingredients that had the potential to be life threatening to my compromised immune system. After being released, I was cautioned about going anywhere, especially to a restaurant, and absolutely NO open buffets/salad bars. And so, I had this pent-up demand for Chili’s Chips & Salsa after those thirty days in the hospital. I could not get it out of my mind. I remember thinking… If I could just get a taste of that chips and salsa, I would feel SO much better—it would bring my appetite back. The focus on it was so out of control and my family even made light fun of my insatiable desire.

Back to March 30. A week after being released from the hospital and a test showing my white blood cells were nearly recovered (actually what is called your neutrophil count), I couldn’t help but tell Debbie…we have to go to Chili’s, TONIGHT!  And so, we did. Debbie made sure we were at an isolated table and told our server that my food needed to be extra hot to kill any germs. And we had plenty of hand sanitizer and wipes with us to make sure everything was clean. You can see the picture of that moment, and a table tent showing the Final Four was going on at that time (it was not shut down like now, just I was shut down). And there, that evening on March 30th, I enjoyed the most amazing experience with Chili’s Chips & Salsa! To this day it stands as the most stunning contrast between being locked down and then set free (smile). The warmth of my heart was noticeable and I could tell I was enjoying a meal like I never had before. I will never forget that experience. And it taught me this…Don’t give up hope. Let hope continue to build a nest in your heart during this time. Hope that there will be a new day to all of this. That, one day (likely several weeks away), the hope in your heart will sprout wings and will fly away, and you will experience the amazing contrast of what you are feeling now and the incredible joy of experiencing something as simple as…Chili’s Chips & Salsa. It will be amazing!

but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. (Isaiah 40:31)

Amazed by His Love,

Terence